Well, this is delightful.
(Via samuelhansen:adamisacson)
I got a message on my phone over the weekend from an elderly lady in South Carolina requesting a replacement copy of her dishwasher manual. I don’t know how she mistook my outgoing message for that of a major appliance company, but she did. She left her phone number and full address and sounded like she really needed to be helped out, so I looked up the company’s information and gave them a call. I asked the apathetic customer service woman to send her a copy. “IT’S ON OUR WEBSITE MA’AM.” I explained to her what happened and told her that I doubted the elderly lady even knew what the internet was. Then I got the idea to just print the manual out myself and send it to her.
So Mary Carpetner of South Carolina, Ima hook you up, girl.
Sparkiepop, you’re my hero.
“girl Friday”
noun
a female helper, esp. a junior office worker or a personal assistant to a business executive.
ORIGIN 1940s: on the pattern of man Friday.
Fucking know-it-all dictionaries.
Richie said he’d “like” my status, if I had one.
So I updated my status.
I am on a ROLL tonight!
Put something new into the world, reposters. I dare you. Define yourself by yourself, not by something you “discovered” 20 minutes before somebody else.
I wrote this at the beginning of a Grey’s Anatomy episode wherein a character finds out he has a teenage daughter. The pregnant bit was something I made up to heighten the joke.
By the end of the episode, however, she revealed that she is pregnant.
NAILED IT.
It’s on. I can’t wait to experience this tragic tale of forbidden love between a girl, a vampire, and a werecow.
Clay’s blog is already paying off. IN LAFFS.
