My friend Bret, with more thoughts on break ups.

theidiotking:

BRET: …it’s just weird to break up with a person. one minute you’re telling her all about your inner most thoughts, the next you don’t know if she slobbed 10 knobs on the way to work.

My ex, David, once made the breakup analogy, “It’s like suddenly smashing a really elaborate sand castle that took two years to build.”

(this post was reblogged from theidiotking)
rocket9: hilarysiegel: amandalynferri: The dolls are part of a premium-price collectors’ series for adults that Mattel calls the Barbie Fashion Model Collection. Although there have been Barbies and Kens based on other TV series, among them “I Love Lucy” and “The X-Files,” the dolls will be the first licensed line for that collection, Mattel says, with a suggested retail price of $74.95 each. -NYT Holy crap.  Mad Men now comes in Barbie. I call bullshit on Joan having the same old Barbie proportions.

rocket9:

hilarysiegel:

amandalynferri:

The dolls are part of a premium-price collectors’ series for adults that Mattel calls the Barbie Fashion Model Collection. Although there have been Barbies and Kens based on other TV series, among them “I Love Lucy” and “The X-Files,” the dolls will be the first licensed line for that collection, Mattel says, with a suggested retail price of $74.95 each.

-NYT

Holy crap.  Mad Men now comes in Barbie.

I call bullshit on Joan having the same old Barbie proportions.

(this post was reblogged from rocket9)
“
We’re Americans, goddammit. Ye shall know us by the tang of our bitter and untenable jadedness.

Mark Morford, in his piece “Why are you so terribly disappointing?” in the SF Gate.

(Via Mike Dang)

I am the Apolo Ohno of this tumbl

Thanks to Mark Lisanti, I have involuntarily been the Apolo Ohno of declaring myself the Apolo Ohno of things for the last forty minutes.

Examples:

I am the Apolo Ohno of eating this cookie.

I am the Apolo Ohno of this colon cleanse powder.

I am the Apolo Ohno of taking this towel down in order to be the Apolo Ohno of taking a shower.

This is what happens when a joke gets stuck in your head like a song.

(Sidenote: sketch idea - someone says “Apolo Ohno” and the Kool-Aid man immediately shows up. End of sketch.)

Pun Hell

  • Him: but we're calling the cat Freddie Purrrcury for now. until a better pun comes up.
  • Me: ha
  • Him: i know - going straight to hell. whatever.
  • Me: luckily pun hell is actually sort of delightful. everyone sits around reading books and eating jellybeans and on Tuesdays, Oscar Wilde holds an open mic.
  • Him: hahaha. that sounds very nice.
  • Me: yeah
  • Him: and guess what? i'm not coming up with a pun for what i'm packing for pun hell. so take that pun hell.
  • Me: hm. now pun hell might not let you in.
  • Him: after 30 seconds of thought, still no pun. pun hell sounds like its a lot of work sometimes. i'll go with normal 'dante' hell.
  • Me: now you're going to pun purgatory, which consists entirely of eating dry crackers and watching Dan Brown try to hit on high school girls. Dan Brown is both dead and alive.
  • Him: all great people are. like god. and ayn rand.
Yep. Keep ‘em coming, guys. Just keep posting these baby photos.

Yep. Keep ‘em coming, guys. Just keep posting these baby photos.

I’m never going to click on the link in these ads, but I will be forever grateful for their choice in baby photos.

I’m never going to click on the link in these ads, but I will be forever grateful for their choice in baby photos.

Andrew Koenig

I know Andrew Koenig’s death has probably already come to everyone’s attention, but I wanted to say that this is fucking terrible. The few weeks I worked with him, I found him to be an incredibly nice and sincere person who wanted to be good at what he was doing. It is a terrible tragedy that sometimes that isn’t enough to sustain a person. I spent about 10 years of my life in a very deep depression and sometimes (often), it grabs me still. Life can be awful and hard. It is my hope for everyone that, at the end of the day, the happy and easy moments are better remembered than the awful and hard.

If anyone reading this was closely connected to Andrew, please know that I’m thinking of you and I’m terribly sorry for your loss.

Ian McShane to play Blackbeard in next 'Pirates' movie

Well, the prospect of a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie just got less revolting.

theidiotking: Apology accepted accepted accepted. Out of order notice written by that goose from Charlotte’s Web. Yep, rebloggin’ shit just to make a lazy Charlotte’s Web reference. MONDAY IN YOUR FACE.

theidiotking:

Apology accepted accepted accepted.

Out of order notice written by that goose from Charlotte’s Web.

Yep, rebloggin’ shit just to make a lazy Charlotte’s Web reference. MONDAY IN YOUR FACE.

(this post was reblogged from theidiotking)