June 2010
3 posts
“From what I’ve seen, it has a sense of humor about itself, and it’s also really...”
– Adam Scott, on Piranha.
And this is why I love Adam Scott.
“We value the truth, because we are weird and obnoxious and loud and clumsy, and...”
– Zack Handlen, in a Futurama review on AV Club.
This is why I adore the AV Club TV reviews. And, more specifically, Zack Handlen.
“The toughest thing is to love somebody who has done something mean to you —...”
– Happy Monthly Mister Rogers Quote Day, everyone!
May 2010
1 post
April 2010
12 posts
“As long as the music’s playing, the editors have to run around anxious to find...”
– Very interesting article on publishing from Guernica. (via RNash) (via thefeeling)
Mom's Morbidity Returns
Mom and I are watching ‘Ball of Fire,’ a screwball comedy from 1941.
Mom: Do I even have to say it?
Me: All these people are dead now?
Mom: Yep.
Discourse with Mom
Mom: They're comparing American Idol to Clash of the Titans.
Me: More like Clash of the . . . (thinking) . . . (thinking) . . . (thinking) . . . KITTENS!
Mom: That's not funny. Don't put that on your Facebook.
Me: I'm putting it on my Facebook!
Mom: Don't put it on your Facebook!
Me: I'M PUTTING IT ON MY FACEBOOK! YOU CAN'T STOP ME!
Mom: No!
Me: Also, it's not Facebook.
Mom: Whatever.
“The Sixties, I suppose, were a different time. Hunting black people for sport...”
– My pal Matt Louv has begun a blog about the 1964 Audubon Nature Encyclopedia. It is already excellent and worthy of your attention.
“Factual errors: Any time Data plays the part of Sherlock Holmes he’s shown...”
– These are the things Star Trek fans get angry about, and I love them for it.
March 2010
20 posts
Sometimes dreams are confusing and meaningless, like my Lisa Simpson/goat killing dream.
Then other times you’ve gone off your PMDD-controlling birth control (because you found yourself wondering if that was a real thing, and doing so seems to have answered that question with a resounding YES, IT IS A REAL THING) and you’ve had a particularly difficult evening of controlling your...
Roadside Sex
Mom likes giving me shit about my one IMDB credit being a short called Roadside Sex, in which I’m giving a trucker a blow job.
So I rented a movie called Trucker and we’re watching it now. This is the conversation that took place through the opening credits:
Mom: You sure this isn’t the movie you’re in?
Me: Actually, yes. That’s me, giving a blow job off to the...
“Because if smart women who know how smart they are intimidate men (and they do),...”
– Tiger Beatdown, dropping some insight
“Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like, if each of us offered as a...”
– Happy Monthly Mister Rogers Quote Day, everyone!
I had a dream last night that I was a teenaged...
Whooaaaaaaaaaaaa!
“I just feel like somewhere, Judy Blume just burned all her books, like,...”
– Linda Holmes, on why Twilight’s heroine is pretty awful
“I wonder which is more preferable— to walk around all your life swollen up with...”
– Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin (via sarahspy)
This quote kind of scares the shit out of me.
“We followed the most radical voices in the party and the movement, and they led...”
– David Frum, on the Democrats’ health care reform win today.
May this finally, finally let Republican leaders know that Fox News is basically arming its party only to shoot itself in the foot. Or, say, the testicles.
(link via Alex Fernie)
1 tag
My friend Bret, with more thoughts on break ups.
theidiotking:
BRET: …it’s just weird to break up with a person. one minute you’re telling her all about your inner most thoughts, the next you don’t know if she slobbed 10 knobs on the way to work.
My ex, David, once made the breakup analogy, “It’s like suddenly smashing a really elaborate sand castle that took two years to build.”
“We’re Americans, goddammit. Ye shall know us by the tang of our bitter and...”
– Mark Morford, in his piece “Why are you so terribly disappointing?” in the SF Gate.
(Via Mike Dang)
I am the Apolo Ohno of this tumbl
Thanks to Mark Lisanti, I have involuntarily been the Apolo Ohno of declaring myself the Apolo Ohno of things for the last forty minutes.
Examples:
I am the Apolo Ohno of eating this cookie.
I am the Apolo Ohno of this colon cleanse powder.
I am the Apolo Ohno of taking this towel down in order to be the Apolo Ohno of taking a shower.
This is what happens when a joke gets stuck in your head...
Pun Hell
Him: but we're calling the cat Freddie Purrrcury for now. until a better pun comes up.
Me: ha
Him: i know - going straight to hell. whatever.
Me: luckily pun hell is actually sort of delightful. everyone sits around reading books and eating jellybeans and on Tuesdays, Oscar Wilde holds an open mic.
Him: hahaha. that sounds very nice.
Me: yeah
Him: and guess what? i'm not coming up with a pun for what i'm packing for pun hell. so take that pun hell.
Me: hm. now pun hell might not let you in.
Him: after 30 seconds of thought, still no pun. pun hell sounds like its a lot of work sometimes. i'll go with normal 'dante' hell.
Me: now you're going to pun purgatory, which consists entirely of eating dry crackers and watching Dan Brown try to hit on high school girls. Dan Brown is both dead and alive.
Him: all great people are. like god. and ayn rand.
February 2010
31 posts
Andrew Koenig
I know Andrew Koenig’s death has probably already come to everyone’s attention, but I wanted to say that this is fucking terrible. The few weeks I worked with him, I found him to be an incredibly nice and sincere person who wanted to be good at what he was doing. It is a terrible tragedy that sometimes that isn’t enough to sustain a person. I spent about 10 years of my life in a very deep...
Ian McShane to play Blackbeard in next 'Pirates'... →
Well, the prospect of a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie just got less revolting.
Mom and I just had an impromptu dance party to Journey. It consisted of Mom, in the kitchen, making me a chicken sandwich while sashaying back and forth - and of me, at my computer, punching the air. Both of us silent, neither of us commenting on it afterward.
If I can convey one overarching theme to my posts on Tumblr and Twitter about my mother, it is that I kind of wish she were my age so that...
Hi.: Compiled List of the World's Most Unfuckable... →
Edmund Weiner, Deputy Chief Editor, OED
Edmund was Co-Editor with John Simpson of the Second Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary and is now Deputy Chief Editor. He is a member of the English Faculty at Oxford, and a Fellow of Kellogg College. He has a particular responsibility for the linguistic aspects of the dictionary text, as well as for words borrowed from unfamiliar...
Dru Hill, "Love M.D." (And The Mastery Of R&B... →
interweber:
Um, was JUST talking about Dru Hill.
(This is great, but in no way is R&B ridiculous.)
If you are a person who would enjoy this article (e.g. anyone), then you might also enjoy my friend Matt’s blog: Crab Meats.
“It’s not just about that, not just about the ways women devalue their own work,...”
– The Tiger Beatdown Pledge Drive is officially open. Even if you, like me, are so broke that you cannot afford to pay anyone for anything right now, I said a lot of stuff that was really important to me in this piece, and I would like you to read it. (via sadydoyle) (via bmichael)
Explaining 'Deep Space Nine' to Mom
Me: So Starfleet sends Sisko to the space station because they want Bajor to join the United Federation of Planets. The Cardassians--
Mom: Oh, I know them. They have a reality show, don't they?
Me: Yes. Kim Cardassian and her large butt have exhausted Bajor's natural resources, so she and her awful family leave to have their own reality show and torture Earth. Also, there's a wormhole.