July 2009
72 posts
“Funny People” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult...”
– The New York Times informs its readers of the rating info for Funny People, followed by a succinct explanation for that rating.
I was using my full name as my blog title. But all the Tumblr themes make the blog title about ten stories tall and it was making me hate my own name. So I have reverted to my four year old former Blogspot title, which is “katai say blerg.”
Though, truth be told, I sort of miss my ridiculous LiveJournal title, which was “katai to the max: pump up the katai.”
Twitter Palz
Brian: work made her cancel. also, she hates me. in that order
me: probably mostly the second
Brian: i'm pretty terrible
me: I certainly thought so upon meeting you
Brian: yeah. that was pretty bad. i'm surprised you didn't hit me.
me: I considered it, but realized it wouldn't improve you, so why bother.
Brian: i probably would have just gone smashing things
me: and that would only have stirred up the ghosts
Brian: i dunno, i just didn't really get the ghost vibe. maybe i was doing it wrong
me: that was only part of the reason you were awful - your refusal to get the ghost vibe
Brian: what was the main part?
me: probably your forehead. it just gave me the impression that if it could speak, it would be very rude to me
Brian: is it the big penis sticking out of it?
me: that too
I rented 21 Jumpstreet through Netflix recently. And it was so awful that my mom and I have the experience burned into our brains. It was so bad that we now have a post-21 Jumpstreet view to assessing television. Everything with some sort of ensemble cast and genre of crime fighting and/or mystery deduction is judged and categorized on whether it is worse, as bad, or better than 21 Jumpstreet.
...
Best Name for a One Man Show Ever
condi:
Allan McLeod; a Rabbit Stole My Car Keys
holy fuck why am I laughing so hard right now? guess you gotta know the guy…
I agree. And it might be my very favorite sketch show conceit. I saw the show when he had his preview and it’s great.
Simply put, Allan McLeod, world’s nicest guy, has to entertain this rabbit, in order to earn his stolen keys back. It’s beyond...
I dislike it when a movie series will name all installments after the first installment, the title of which had nothing at all to do with the main character - i.e. The Pink Panther and The Thin Man. The Pink Panther was not Peter Sellers, the Thin Man was not William Powell. And yet every sequel, there it is.
They should have been called Inspector Clouseau: Almost Bungles But Instead Solves This...
(We are watching 'Leverage,' but I am also putzing around on the computer)
Mom: The thing about television shows like this is that ___________________.
Me: Uh huh.
Mom: You know?
(I get a panicked look on my face.)
Mom: Were you even listening?
Me: Yes.
Mom: What did I say?
Me: Oh my God. I don't remember.
Mom: You weren't listening.
Me: I was! But I honestly don't remember! I swear!
Mom: I knew it. Your father used to get that look on his face when he wasn't listening to me.
Me: I swear! I was listening and now I can't remember! What did you say?
Mom: (pause)
Me: Seriously, what were you saying?
Mom: (silence)
Me: WHATDIDYOUSAYWHATDIDYOUSAYWHATDIDYOUSAY?
Mom: I don't remember.
Me: What do you mean you don't remember?
Mom: I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I WAS SAYING EITHER!
Me: We're pathetic.
Iran 'releases 140 demonstrators' →
You are witnessing, simultaneously, the best and the worst time to make a joke about Twitter’s role in the Iranian election.
From the Wikipedia entry on “wabi-sabi.”
According to Koren, wabi-sabi is the most conspicuous and characteristic feature of what we think of as traditional Japanese beauty and it “occupies roughly the same position in the Japanese pantheon of aesthetic values as do the Greek ideals of beauty and perfection in the West.” Andrew Juniper claims, “if an object or...
I may not be able to Mad Men myself yet, but I can say with certainty that my sister is Joan and I am Peggy. Or possibly Don’s short-lived secretary Lois - who is played by someone I went to college with.
If you’re counting, by the way, it goes like this:
Number of girls I went to college with who are/have been on shows I would FUCKING KILL TO BE ON: 2
“This is sometimes what having a good life means, of course. You just stay alive,...”
– Linda Holmes, in her review of the memoir The Big Rewind by Nathan Rabin, my favorite Onion AV Club writer.
(Via NPR)
New Contest!!!!
yourkitchensink:
whoever makes the best madmenyourself version of me wins a high five.
Goddamnit. This won’t load on my computer. But I do want to say that I think Dyna Moe, who did all the art for this, has quite outdone herself. Good for Dyna Moe, UCBTNY graphic artist.
Even though she (joke?) claims to purposely create bad art for UCBTLA.
I have it on good authority that someone bought that Yu Wan Mei device from the Onion store.
Haha, this is all true and basic fact; that if I... →
What?! I don’t even know who you are anymore. I have no Laura Condi.
(via condi)
We have been internet pen pals for about a year...
atencio:
condi:
Atencio: I’m still at work like a jerk Condi: still jerking it at work? Condi: man I will REACH for a masturbation joke Atencio:Yeah but will you reach AROUND for a jerkoff joke? BOOM! Condi: JOKE TOUCHDOWN.
At this point, I’m assuming Laura is just going out of her way to avoid me. NOT COOL, CONDI.
Condi and I happened to live in the same building for about two years (or,...
Surely someone has sent Unfollow Friday an Unfollow for Unfollow Friday, right?
It’s like watching a bunch of lemmings hate each other as they fall off a cliff.
Top 5 Indicators That I Am Musically Uncool
5. I think that Sunset Rubdown album is a big snoozer.
4. My ears don’t really know the difference between Bob Dylan and Lou Reed.
3. I like the song, “After All,” by Cher and Peter Cetera, which is the love theme to the Robert Downey, Jr. movie Chances Are, which, when I was 8 years old, I used to constantly force my family to rent.
2. Every time I am in the car, I have the...
“Based on the information you have submitted to us, you may be interested in the position of Door Attendant.”
Hey, Hyatt Human Resources automated e-mail? Fuck you.
Cocktails for Two →
Hi, new friends! I have a podcast.
Just … y’know … in case you like that sort of thing.
Anatomy of a Celeb-Twitter Identity Theft:... →
Emboldened by his success, JonahHill_Jew reaches out to his first celebrity Twitterer, starting modestly with comedian Doug Benson. Benson is suspicious of his claims that they’d met before Hill had become famous, and asks where it was that they met; some Googling on the impostor’s part turned up a CD release where the two had indeed met before.
The impostor tweets back “Yer CD Release party...
On seeing the 100% perfect girl →
Once, outside of Rocket Video in LA, I stood outside my car for five minutes watching a beautiful man play the piano in his second story apartment. Suddenly, he turned, smiled, and waved at me as if he’d known I was there the whole time, at which point, I leapt into my car and drove away like I was being chased.
purns:
charmingortedious:
(via liketearsinrain)
“If he were older, I might have a crush on him.”
– My mom, on Robert Rodruguez
Could Lost's Final Season Pull A Battlestar... →
There are spoilers in this.
iO9 has a really irritating article about Lost. It’s founded on the premise that BSG’s finale was terrible. I don’t agree with that, but I’m willing to accept that not everyone agrees with me (which, sidenote, I was not willing to do on the night of the BSG finale, when I was drunk, snatched Chad Fogland’s glasses off of his face, and...
jenniepie:
yourkitchensink:
Unexpected Dance...
Who's Afraid of Richard Burton? →
Dick Cavett on Richard Burton:
I tried to imagine what fears or hesitations Burton might have about appearing with me. Could he be afraid that the rich voice, those rugged good looks, the manly erotic charm, the hypnotic blue eyes, the articulacy, the fine wit and the ready storehouse of classical and modern literary quotations and allusions were not quite enough to qualify him for sitting next...
I just noticed that my post of Part II of the Sleepy Hollow video was actually just Part I again. So I deleted it and I was going to post Part II correctly. But then I was like, “Fuck it. Nobody cares, Lindsay. Nobody cares whether or not you post it.”
So thanks for the existential crisis, SATURDAY. Ugh.
An even better rendition of Headless Horseman, by...
chrisfarah:
I waited a ‘lil before posting this, I...
“Jeez. Of course they are! It’s like I can’t turn on the television...”
– Mom, upon hearing that the Black Eyed Peas would be performing on SYTYCD last night.
Mom Smells Something
Mom: Is that you? That smell?
Me: What? No. What smell?
Mom: It's a B.O. smell.
Me: (smells self) No.
Mom: Is it me? (smells self) No.
a minute goes by
Mom: Do you wear deodorant every day?
Me: Yes! Jesus! Yes. Jesus, Mom! Yes.
Mom: (skeptical) Okay.
five minutes go by
Mom: Are you sure?
Meet Your New Least Favorite Person →
Probably uncalled for, my doing this, but it gives me a place to channel my bile and hatred. Follow if you like bile and hatred. At least it’ll keep it out of this tumblr.
Big up to Todd for making me hate Harmene Hartman so fucking much.
The Good News About Joe Jackson →
Via yourkitchensink:
Sorry, yesterday’s New Least Favorite Person is being mightily outstripped by today’s New Least Favorite Person (this may need to become a series). So here she is, your new new least favorite person: Hermene Hartman.
His young son, Michael, was the most talented of the Jackson crew, and he showed great promise. He had older brothers who taught him, and he had a...