August 2009
85 posts
Paul Simon - The Obvious Child
Meet my new...
You Love Me
And I’m coming to LA for Labor Day weekend. So plan your lives accordingly.
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This face perfectly sums up my feelings on the job.
This post makes no sense to anyone not looking at it in their Tumblr dashboard.
Here’s the other thing about that mall “car contest”: if you’re 14 … what did you think was going to happen? We were going to give you a car and it was going to sit in your driveway for 2 years? No. What happens is some poor, innocent 27-year-old who hates her job is going to call you, hoping that you will lead to a piddling $100 commission, and then she has to talk...
Hey. When you’re at the mall and there are cars there, and it invites you to enter to win one, don’t do it. You’re not going to win one. The only thing that’s going to happen is that I’m going to call you thinking you want to buy one, and then we’re both going to be really bummed out.
Los Angeles Video Editors
atencio:
I have a friend who is hiring for a last minute lead editor position on a web series. The schedule is very tight, as you’d be starting tomorrow or Friday and need to have a teaser and a 7 minute rough cut completed by Sunday, however, it pays $1500. Interested parties must have their own final cut pro rig, a reel, and verifiable credits, and can feel free to contact me.
I hate having...
Clarification on awful erectile dysfunction radio...
Supporting my theory that I am supposed to think this girl is a real-life pop star, here is the actual beginning to that commercial:
“Years ago George Gershwin wrote the song that is every girl-singer’s dream: (sings) One day he’ll come along, the man I love. I was lucky - for me, that man came early …”
“Girl-singer?” It’s confirmed. We are all...
“[H]ey, you got your sex-changing serial killer in my alien Amish! You got your...”
– Zack Handlen, in a review of an X-Files episode.
I caught up with all the Star Trek episodes. I’ve never even seen X-Files, but shit, I need something to read at work.
Misogyny
“Sodini felt that he was entitled not just to sex and a romantic relationship, but to sex and a romantic relationship with a much younger woman. And he was following the advice of a love-and-romance guru who encouraged him to cling to that belief. Not normally a problem, I suppose. But Sodini wasn’t just another socially maladapted schlub furious with the world—and with women—for denying...
Can't wait for Halloween so I can pick a generic...
theidiotking:
sade:
So many options! Slutty cop! Slutty sailor! Slutty cat! Slutty Pocohantas!
Can I suggest Slutty Slut?
Last year, me and my buddy Chris D’Anna decided the epitome of the slutty girl Halloween costume would be “Slutty Baby Hitler.”
Every day I am subjected to an erectile dysfunction radio spot that goes more or less like this:
“Who doesn’t love that song, ‘The Man I Love?’ [proceeds to sing ‘One day he’ll come along, the man I love.’] But I was lucky. Love came early for me and I found the man I love. But then he came down with ED, erectile dysfunction.”
It makes me mad...
Every morning as I get ready for work, I have the supreme luck of being able to watch The Golden Girls on the Hallmark channel.
Things advertised during Golden Girls:
insurance
funeral planning
cat food
Life Alert
Touched By An Angel
Which means they’re focusing way too heavily on their senior demo and not nearly enough on their hipster demo, which would allow them to advertise:
...
“I thought of you yesterday because you were like the only person in high school...”
– Facebook message response from the girl I wrote my last entry about. (via theidiotking)
These two entries, as a very mini series, are great.
Whenever I have a moment of excitement about buying Beatles Rock Band, that moment is always immediately followed by a harsh voice saying, “Or, you could spend that time learning to play Beatles songs on an actual guitar and have an actual skill, you stupid cow.”
But I want the thing with lights and a score and super cool visuals! Maaaaaan, that voice is such a hard-ass.
Dude, You Look Like A Rapist →
This blog is funny. I can’t follow it, however, because I have plenty of nightmares about rape as it is. I have primetime crime shows to thank for that.
I’m reluctant to read Brian Greene’s The Elegant Universe before bed again, because the last time I did that I had weird dreams about cartoon quarks with faces.
Gregory Page - I Don’t Like You (anymore)
"women's crusade" →
lauraturnergarrison:
nicholas kristof is a gift to journalism.
Disturbing, touching, wonderful.
Matthew Broderick is in the particular episode of Faerie Tale Theatre I posted. I made the mistake of glancing down at the YouTube comments for a moment and saw that someone wrote, “Hey, isn’t that the guy who played Inspector Gadget?”
Don’t people in this world recognize Ferris Bueller when they see him? What is he, a unicorn? And what is this, The Last Unicorn? And who...
Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theatre - Cinderella →
Remember these?!
Daily Buzzkills: Creativity is bad, and other... →
This excellent and entertaining Newswire from Sean O’Neal at the AV Club breaks down the philosophical antithesis of Peter Atencio’s very well-thought out entry on District 9. The fact that the two are so at odds with one another seems to illustrate everything about the difference between the so-called Suits and the Artists in the film industry - and why it’s suffering because...
“This one made me crazy-giggle. You guys look like you’re going to cry if...”
– This is the comment my mother just left on Facebook on that Fathers & Daughters Costume Ball photo.
“We all agree to live by these lies because they’re more useful to us than they...”
– Todd VanDerWerff is doing a fucking top-notch job of reviewing Deadwood for the AV Club.
That Costume Ball picture I posted yesterday, of me in the rabbit costume, was put on Facebook by my mom that afternoon, which is why I thought to to put it up here.
So just now my mom yells from the other room, “Hey, Taylor’s friend posted a comment on that photo!”
And then she started laughing so hard that she couldn’t talk, or hardly breathe even.
Criterion gets into the TV-on-DVD business →
At first when I thought to post this, I was going to write, “Isn’t that awesome?!!!”
And then I remembered that nearly every Criterion DVD I’ve rented, in an attempt to educate myself in great film, I have found totally, thumpingly boring. Because when I am honest with myself, I have pretty mediocre taste in things, which is saved only by my extreme love of those mediocre...
“Transitions are almost always signs of growth, but they can bring feelings of...”
– Happy Monthly Mister Rogers Quote Day, everyone.
phrases I wish could be retired...
condicondi:
“So that happened…”
i love you all, but we’ve really beaten this one to a pulp, including me. Lets move forward from here, onward and upward, progress is key I always say.
That’s what she said! I’m sorry, I mean, that’s what I said. That’s what I said after losing my virginity.
“The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.”
– Ellen Glasgow, novelist, quoted for the purposes of this New York Times article, “Brain Is a Co-Conspirator in a Vicious Stress Loop.”
Henry Gibson's Ringtones →
Best thing I’ve seen in weeks.
(Via Pat Healy)
“I had zero expectations going in to “The Immunity Syndrome.”...”
– Zack Handlen, delighting me once again with a Star Trek review.
He’s also on Twitter!
Bryan Singer to Do a Re-Imagining of the... →
What the fuck, Bryan Singer? Just go masturabate to All Along the Watchtower like the rest of us.
Seeking: How the brain hard-wires us to love... →
sarahspy:
(via)
Yep.
