January 2010
26 posts
Who Died
Mom: Did you hear who died?
Me: Yeah. Can you believe it?
Mom: I know. Poor little old lady.
Me: What? Wait. Who are you talking about?
Mom: The little old lady from 'Poltergeist.'
Me: I was talking about J.D. Salinger.
Mom: WHAT?!
Me: J.D. Salinger died.
Mom: Ugh. My stupid Facebook friends.
FACT:
theidiotking:
lindsaykatai:
Conan’s goodbye message, in which he urges young people not to be cynical, has been quoted, posted, tweeted about, and reblogged by some of the MOST CYNICAL PEOPLE I KNOW.
He gave all of us crusty, hard hearted cranks a reason to believe. DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT???????
I do understand, Dave. AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. I just hope we all really do take it to...
FACT:
Conan’s goodbye message, in which he urges young people not to be cynical, has been quoted, posted, tweeted about, and reblogged by some of the MOST CYNICAL PEOPLE I KNOW.
Boys be all, but girls be like . . .
Last night, hanging out with some new work friends, we got into discussing what is a fairly common topic in mixed company, particularly when you’re all new to each other: the idea that women have, as one guy put it, “platonic orbiters” who are secretly pining for them - that there is not even a single guy friend a lady can have who wouldn’t classify as such.
We all,...
Hi, Tumblr. I work all the time now, but I miss you.
Especially now that you don’t greet me with, “Hi, this is how important we’ve decided you are today.”
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say...”
– Happy Monthly Mister Rogers Quote Day, everyone!
“Jack, if you’re willing to do this, I’d be foolish to object....”
– Mom, rewriting 24 on the fly, to accommodate payroll concerns
Canvassing VI
Me: We’re working to stop ocean pollution.
Man: Ah, you’ll want to come back and talk to my wife.
Me: Oh, yeah?
Man: She’s at your end of the spectrum.
Me: So you’re not then?
Man: Oh, no. I would gather you all on a ship and drown you in the middle of the ocean if I could.
Me: I see.
Man: But she’ll love you!
“Marriage is one of the basic building blocks of our neighborhoods and our...”
– Ted Olson, making the conservative case for gay marriage. (via newsweek)
Tell it, Olson.
“After their charges have left, staff members of a children’s camp pursue...”
– Cox’s summary of Wet Hot American Summer, apparently written by someone who’s never seen the movie
2010
If New Year’s Eve party experiences were contests, I would have won this year.
Truthfully, any year I don’t blackout at UCB feels like a win. I’m looking disdainfully at you, 2008.
“http://twitter.com/friendships/destroy/”
– This is the address that comes up when you unfollow someone. Twitter is intense, you guys.