The tortured inner monologue of the guy narrating this video:
“Did I mention that part about not standing in groups? Because that’s really key here, people. DO NOT STAND MORE THAN TWO CLOWNS IN A GIVEN AREA. Clowns are awful, frightening visions of evil and any more than two of you at a time might send an elderly person right into the imminent and loving arms of death. Just don’t do it. Maybe even two is pushing it. I don’t know. Just … plan your trips to the bathroom, because if one of them happened upon three of you there … Jesus. I mean, all that hard linoleum and all their brittle, brittle bones. Oh, God. And then can you just imagine their plaintive voices begging you to take the pain away? Do you know what that would do to your heartstrings? In fact, I don’t even know why I’m encouraging this fucking travesty of good intentions. Were clowns in the bible? I think this might be against God’s will. Am I going to hell for this? Oh my God … is this hell?”
