I rented 21 Jumpstreet through Netflix recently. And it was so awful that my mom and I have the experience burned into our brains. It was so bad that we now have a post-21 Jumpstreet view to assessing television. Everything with some sort of ensemble cast and genre of crime fighting and/or mystery deduction is judged and categorized on whether it is worse, as bad, or better than 21 Jumpstreet.
Leverage - better, but not that one guy who is just as bad
CSI: Miami - better, but just as boring
Medium - much, much better
The Listener - better
Merlin - better, but just as boring … and the misuse of Anthony Stuart Head is to Merlin what the misuse of Johnny Depp was to 21 Jumpstreet
The Closer - better, but I will still choose to watch something else unless Andy Daly happens to be guest starring
Do you see the pattern? Do you see the pattern of even the most mediocre of shows coming off as better than fucking 21 Jumpstreet? I am now doubly impressed with Johnny Depp for coming out of that show without having all his natural talent violently directed out of him until he lost all ability and strength to go on acting. There was one scene in particular that had me and my mom so horrified that we rewound it to watch and marvel at a second time. My mom finally made the following astute observation:
“I feel like we found an old VHS of one of Johnny Depp’s high school plays.”
Awful. And not even in a fun way.
