Every day I am subjected to an erectile dysfunction radio spot that goes more or less like this:
“Who doesn’t love that song, ‘The Man I Love?’ [proceeds to sing ‘One day he’ll come along, the man I love.’] But I was lucky. Love came early for me and I found the man I love. But then he came down with ED, erectile dysfunction.”
It makes me mad because it builds this whole ridiculous world up in my head.
- It makes me imagine that the girl talking is supposedly a famous singer.
- It makes me imagine that this girl’s #1 hit is “The Man I Love,” a song which is probably 80 years old.
- It makes me imagine that this famous singer has lowered herself so much that she is doing erectile dysfunction radio spots.
These things have to be true, otherwise, why is some girl I don’t even know singing? Why is this song the lead in to a commercial for something related to the penis? WHY THIS SONG? WHY MAKE HER SING THE FIRST TWO LINES? So I’ve done all this fucking daydreaming, I’ve imagined the entire rise and fall of a mediocre fictional pop star, just to make a stupid radio spot about erections make some kind of sense.
I tell you, it isn’t right.
