Dear TV Shows,

I never want to see the following exchange ever again, used when two characters need to have a serious talk:

“Oh, we’ll be leaving right now. We have that … thing.”

“What thing?”

“You know. The thing.”

“Ohhhhhh. The thiiiiiiiiing.”

No one does that. No one has ever done that. The only people who do that are fictional characters and the only reason they continue to do it is because it is a thing fictional characters do. Stop it.