reasonsilovemymother: Reason #209: A couple of years ago, a friend from high school was watching a 1983 episode of “Family Feud” on The Game Show Network, and thought “Wait. Is that Chris Kelly’s mom?”. It was. And it was a hilarious mess. Participating on that episode of Family Feud that fateful day in the fall of 1983 was my mom, an eight-month-old fetus version of myself inside her very-pregnant stomach, her husband at the time and my biological father, her parents, and her grandmother. And another family that was much, much smarter. Now it’s been awhile since I have seen the episode, so if anyone has it, PLEASE send it my way. But my memory of the show, which could be a little skewed, is that one of the topics was “Things You Put Butter On.” My grandpa went up to the buzzer and won the turn for his family by correctly guessing “bread”. That’s when I think it went to my mom, whose next guess was “toast”. It was around that moment when the train veered off the tracks. Because, apparently, even in 1983, toast was the same thing as bread. I don’t remember what other things my family guessed for that round, but I’m assuming some of them were “a piece of bread”, “a chunk of bread”, “a loaf of bread”, “burnt toast” and “delicious toast”. I think there was also another round where people had to name Disney characters and my family managed to immediately guess a non-Disney cartoon character. I wish I could go more into specifics but I’m afraid I would be getting the details wrong. Suffice to say, they lost. Utterly and completely. And the footage of that show is a perfectly edited 22-minutes of “oh my god, that’s my family!?!”. It’s HILARIOUS and everything about it is ugly in the way everything shot in the 1980s was and my family is confused and laughing the entire time, with gigantic hair and clothes they should have known better about even without the gift of retrospect. And also, I was there, floating around inside my mom’s belly. And I promise you that even Fetus Me was screaming, “No mom, that’s still just bread!”. This story is so goddamn funny that I read it aloud to my own mom, but could barely get through it without cry-laughing.

reasonsilovemymother:

Reason #209:

A couple of years ago, a friend from high school was watching a 1983 episode of “Family Feud” on The Game Show Network, and thought “Wait. Is that Chris Kelly’s mom?”.

It was. And it was a hilarious mess.

Participating on that episode of Family Feud that fateful day in the fall of 1983 was my mom, an eight-month-old fetus version of myself inside her very-pregnant stomach, her husband at the time and my biological father, her parents, and her grandmother. And another family that was much, much smarter.

Now it’s been awhile since I have seen the episode, so if anyone has it, PLEASE send it my way. But my memory of the show, which could be a little skewed, is that one of the topics was “Things You Put Butter On.” My grandpa went up to the buzzer and won the turn for his family by correctly guessing “bread”.

That’s when I think it went to my mom, whose next guess was “toast”. It was around that moment when the train veered off the tracks. Because, apparently, even in 1983, toast was the same thing as bread. I don’t remember what other things my family guessed for that round, but I’m assuming some of them were “a piece of bread”, “a chunk of bread”, “a loaf of bread”, “burnt toast” and “delicious toast”.

I think there was also another round where people had to name Disney characters and my family managed to immediately guess a non-Disney cartoon character. I wish I could go more into specifics but I’m afraid I would be getting the details wrong.

Suffice to say, they lost. Utterly and completely. And the footage of that show is a perfectly edited 22-minutes of “oh my god, that’s my family!?!”. It’s HILARIOUS and everything about it is ugly in the way everything shot in the 1980s was and my family is confused and laughing the entire time, with gigantic hair and clothes they should have known better about even without the gift of retrospect.

And also, I was there, floating around inside my mom’s belly. And I promise you that even Fetus Me was screaming, “No mom, that’s still just bread!”.

This story is so goddamn funny that I read it aloud to my own mom, but could barely get through it without cry-laughing.