Hey, Lindsay, remember when you were five years old and wanted nothing more than to be Crystal Gayle? Crystal Gayle with her crazy mane of hair that seemed to you the epitome of being pretty? Well, you’re not five anymore. You’re not Crystal Gayle, okay?
What I’m trying to say is you need a haircut. Your hair is long, but it looks sad. Cut your hair.
Sincerely,
Self
