Susceptible to Suggestion
Yesterday I listened to the Sound of Young America episode wherein he interviewed Mike Birbiglia in regards to his one man show about sleepwalking.
Then, in the middle of the night last night, I had to leap out of bed to escape a giant crystal chandelier that had been purposely released at my head by a team of super villains. But because the chandelier was fucking following me across the room, I had to reach for a nearby shield, hold it over my body, and hope for as little injury as possible.
When the chandelier didn’t hit me, I looked up and realized that the thing I’d thought was a chandelier was actually the shadow of my fan, oscillating across the ceiling. The thing I thought was a shield was the pillow from the chair across the room.
What happened was that while still asleep, I’d opened my eyes. When the image of my fan’s shadow registered in my sleeping brain, it was immediately incorporated into the weird dream I was in the middle of and made into a crystal chandelier.
This is why one should never sleep in the nude. Because when moments like these occur, one’s nakedness only ups the humiliation factor.
I haven’t done something like this in my sleep in 10 years. Thanks a lot, Mike Birbiglia.
