katai say blerg

My friend Bret, with more thoughts on break ups.

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:30:28 -0800

BRET: …it’s just weird to break up with a person. one minute you’re telling her all about your inner most thoughts, the next you don’t know if she slobbed 10 knobs on the way to work.

My ex, David, once made the breakup analogy, “It’s like suddenly smashing a really elaborate sand castle that took two years to build.”

rocket9: hilarysiegel: amandalynferri: The dolls are part of...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:17:49 -0800

rocket9:

hilarysiegel:

amandalynferri:

The dolls are part of a premium-price collectors’ series for adults that Mattel calls the Barbie Fashion Model Collection. Although there have been Barbies and Kens based on other TV series, among them “I Love Lucy” and “The X-Files,” the dolls will be the first licensed line for that collection, Mattel says, with a suggested retail price of $74.95 each.

-NYT

Holy crap. Mad Men now comes in Barbie.

I call bullshit on Joan having the same old Barbie proportions.

"We’re Americans, goddammit. Ye shall know us by the tang of our bitter and untenable..."

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 08:49:00 -0800

“We’re Americans, goddammit. Ye shall know us by the tang of our bitter and untenable jadedness.”

- Mark Morford, in his piece “Why are you so terribly disappointing?” in the SF Gate.

(Via Mike Dang)

I am the Apolo Ohno of this tumbl

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 01:38:00 -0800

Thanks to Mark Lisanti, I have involuntarily been the Apolo Ohno of declaring myself the Apolo Ohno of things for the last forty minutes.

Examples:

I am the Apolo Ohno of eating this cookie.

I am the Apolo Ohno of this colon cleanse powder.

I am the Apolo Ohno of taking this towel down in order to be the Apolo Ohno of taking a shower.

This is what happens when a joke gets stuck in your head like a song.

(Sidenote: sketch idea - someone says “Apolo Ohno” and the Kool-Aid man immediately shows up. End of sketch.)

Pun Hell

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:57:07 -0800

Him: but we're calling the cat Freddie Purrrcury for now. until a better pun comes up.
Me: ha
Him: i know - going straight to hell. whatever.
Me: luckily pun hell is actually sort of delightful. everyone sits around reading books and eating jellybeans and on Tuesdays, Oscar Wilde holds an open mic.
Him: hahaha. that sounds very nice.
Me: yeah
Him: and guess what? i'm not coming up with a pun for what i'm packing for pun hell. so take that pun hell.
Me: hm. now pun hell might not let you in.
Him: after 30 seconds of thought, still no pun. pun hell sounds like its a lot of work sometimes. i'll go with normal 'dante' hell.
Me: now you're going to pun purgatory, which consists entirely of eating dry crackers and watching Dan Brown try to hit on high school girls. Dan Brown is both dead and alive.
Him: all great people are. like god. and ayn rand.

Yep. Keep ‘em coming, guys. Just keep posting these baby...

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 23:43:49 -0800

Yep. Keep ‘em coming, guys. Just keep posting these baby photos.

I’m never going to click on the link in these ads, but I...

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:06:33 -0800

I’m never going to click on the link in these ads, but I will be forever grateful for their choice in baby photos.

Andrew Koenig

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 23:31:00 -0800

I know Andrew Koenig’s death has probably already come to everyone’s attention, but I wanted to say that this is fucking terrible. The few weeks I worked with him, I found him to be an incredibly nice and sincere person who wanted to be good at what he was doing. It is a terrible tragedy that sometimes that isn’t enough to sustain a person. I spent about 10 years of my life in a very deep depression and sometimes (often), it grabs me still. Life can be awful and hard. It is my hope for everyone that, at the end of the day, the happy and easy moments are better remembered than the awful and hard.

If anyone reading this was closely connected to Andrew, please know that I’m thinking of you and I’m terribly sorry for your loss.

Ian McShane to play Blackbeard in next 'Pirates' movie

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 00:40:49 -0800

Ian McShane to play Blackbeard in next 'Pirates' movie:

Well, the prospect of a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie just got less revolting.

theidiotking: Apology accepted accepted accepted. Out of order...

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 22:52:18 -0800

theidiotking:

Apology accepted accepted accepted.

Out of order notice written by that goose from Charlotte’s Web.

Yep, rebloggin’ shit just to make a lazy Charlotte’s Web reference. MONDAY IN YOUR FACE.

Oh, Toothpaste for Dinner. This works for Alcohol Whale too,...

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 19:21:00 -0800

Oh, Toothpaste for Dinner.

This works for Alcohol Whale too, which is what I’ve decided Ambien Walrus’s counterpart is.

daveholmes: HAS ANYONE SEEN HIM? Andrew Koenig (AK-47, the...

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 15:52:00 -0800

daveholmes:

HAS ANYONE SEEN HIM?

Andrew Koenig (AK-47, the video guy on “Never Not Funny,” and “Boner” from “Growing Pains”) has been missing for a week, last seen 2/14 in Vancouver. Didn’t make his flight back to the US on 2/16. The Vancouver Police are involved, and lots of people are looking. Could you reblog this and help get the word out? And say some prayers or think some positive thoughts?

UPDATE: It’s not that I don’t appreciate the “like”s, but PLEASE DO REBLOG THIS. You might have followers in Vancouver, and though the presence of the word “Boner” may make this look like a joke, I assure you it isn’t. Thanks!

I was in an improv group with Andrew for a while and he’s a really decent, caring guy. So if you’re in Vancouver, readers, keep an eye out.

Mom and I just had an impromptu dance party to Journey. It consisted of Mom, in the kitchen, making...

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 13:55:50 -0800

Mom and I just had an impromptu dance party to Journey. It consisted of Mom, in the kitchen, making me a chicken sandwich while sashaying back and forth - and of me, at my computer, punching the air. Both of us silent, neither of us commenting on it afterward.

If I can convey one overarching theme to my posts on Tumblr and Twitter about my mother, it is that I kind of wish she were my age so that we could be best friends and hang out all the time.

Facebook is trying to inspire me by telling me that NOW is, in...

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 11:33:12 -0800

Facebook is trying to inspire me by telling me that NOW is, in itself, an event. So is the next NOW I experience. And it wants me to MAKE something happen tonight at 7pm, not just wait for an event to come to me. And Mondays may very well be the new Saturday, if I have the presence of mind to make it so. Thank you, Facebook. You’re right. Life is an event. LIFE ITSELF IS AN EVENT.

tremblebot: Whole Wide World - Wreckless Eric I fall in love...

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:05:00 -0800

tremblebot:

Whole Wide World - Wreckless Eric

I fall in love with the idea of you every time he says Ta-hi-ti.

This reminds me that I really enjoyed the movie Stranger Than Fiction and I don’t care who knows it.

Hi.: Compiled List of the World's Most Unfuckable Nerds

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 19:51:57 -0800

Hi.: Compiled List of the World's Most Unfuckable Nerds:

Edmund Weiner, Deputy Chief Editor, OED

Edmund was Co-Editor with John Simpson of the Second Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary and is now Deputy Chief Editor. He is a member of the English Faculty at Oxford, and a Fellow of Kellogg College. He has a particular responsibility for the linguistic aspects of the dictionary text, as well as for words borrowed from unfamiliar languages. He invented a phonetic alphabet at the age of eleven and spent his teens collecting alphabets, trying to teach himself languages, or inventing his own, inspired by the works of J. R. R. Tolkien.

I don’t know about you guys, but if I could directly link my sexual desires to facts I find sexy, I would totally bone this guy.

Dru Hill, "Love M.D." (And The Mastery Of R&B Ridiculousness) | The Awl

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 08:27:50 -0800

Dru Hill, "Love M.D." (And The Mastery Of R&B Ridiculousness) | The Awl:

interweber:

Um, was JUST talking about Dru Hill.

(This is great, but in no way is R&B ridiculous.)

If you are a person who would enjoy this article (e.g. anyone), then you might also enjoy my friend Matt’s blog: Crab Meats.

"It’s not just about that, not just about the ways women devalue their own work, or fail to ask for..."

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:14:44 -0800

“It’s not just about that, not just about the ways women devalue their own work, or fail to ask for what they deserve. It’s also about feminist media, and new media, and how those two interconnect. I’ve written a lot, on [Tiger Beatdown], about how crucially important the Internet has been for feminist media – how, in the absence of other feminist media markets, and in a climate where feminist-backlash pieces are often more marketable and publishable (hi, Roiphe!) than pieces with feminist content, we have taken to these here Intertubes to do the writing that matters most to us. But it’s kind of sick, actually, how that is starving us out: everybody knows that Internet publishing pays substantially less than print media publishing, even when it does pay. I’ve done both, and I’ve seen the difference in the paychecks: believe me, it is so substantial that it would make you laugh, if it didn’t make you cry first. But even beyond that, I’ve checked in with or asked around about some of the few remaining print outlets that are specifically for feminist voices, and guess what? A lot of them, maybe most of them, are not doing so well. They’re understaffed, underfinanced, running on fumes, trying to perform this immensely valuable service for as little as they possibly can, just so that they can keep doing it. Because they care; even if they could probably be making more money elsewhere for doing the same kind of work with the “feminism” taken out of it, they’re dedicated to doing the work that matters most to them, which is feminist media. Which doesn’t, not often or not really, allow them to take care of themselves or the people with whom they work.”

- The Tiger Beatdown Pledge Drive is officially open. Even if you, like me, are so broke that you cannot afford to pay anyone for anything right now, I said a lot of stuff that was really important to me in this piece, and I would like you to read it. (via sadydoyle) (via bmichael)

Hey, Lindsay, remember when you were five years old and wanted...

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 23:16:49 -0800

Hey, Lindsay, remember when you were five years old and wanted nothing more than to be Crystal Gayle? Crystal Gayle with her crazy mane of hair that seemed to you the epitome of being pretty? Well, you’re not five anymore. You’re not Crystal Gayle, okay?

What I’m trying to say is you need a haircut. Your hair is long, but it looks sad. Cut your hair.

Sincerely,

Self

Explaining 'Deep Space Nine' to Mom

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 12:33:00 -0800

Me: So Starfleet sends Sisko to the space station because they want Bajor to join the United Federation of Planets. The Cardassians--
Mom: Oh, I know them. They have a reality show, don't they?
Me: Yes. Kim Cardassian and her large butt have exhausted Bajor's natural resources, so she and her awful family leave to have their own reality show and torture Earth. Also, there's a wormhole.