katai say blerg

"From what I’ve seen, it has a sense of humor about itself, and it’s also really scary and really,..."

Fri, 25 Jun 2010 00:34:50 -0700

“From what I’ve seen, it has a sense of humor about itself, and it’s also really scary and really, really violent. I would call it a popcorn movie from the planet Popcorn. It’s just all boobs, blood, and—I don’t know, what’s the other “b”? Barbecue.”

- Adam Scott, on Piranha.

And this is why I love Adam Scott.

"We value the truth, because we are weird and obnoxious and loud and clumsy, and so all we have is..."

Fri, 25 Jun 2010 00:09:49 -0700

“We value the truth, because we are weird and obnoxious and loud and clumsy, and so all we have is our brains, and the Truth, and how we express it.”

- Zack Handlen, in a Futurama review on AV Club.

This is why I adore the AV Club TV reviews. And, more specifically, Zack Handlen.

"The toughest thing is to love somebody who has done something mean to you — especially when that..."

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 13:33:54 -0700

“The toughest thing is to love somebody who has done something mean to you — especially when that somebody is yourself. Look inside yourself and find that loving part of you. Take good care of that part because it helps you love your neighbor.”

- Happy Monthly Mister Rogers Quote Day, everyone!

Weird. Okay. See that far less imposing building just to the...

Mon, 10 May 2010 22:39:33 -0700

Weird. Okay. See that far less imposing building just to the left of the Trianon? That happens to be exactly where I’m staying with my friends Richie and Shelley, on a mattress in their living room.

See, you can just barely make me out. I’m the one with the furrowed brow, wondering when she’ll get to feel like a grownup again.

(via pauliophonic)

Ugh. I love them SO MUCH.

Thu, 22 Apr 2010 20:12:00 -0700

Ugh. I love them SO MUCH.

"As long as the music’s playing, the editors have to run around anxious to find the book that’ll help..."

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 23:11:22 -0700

“

As long as the music’s playing, the editors have to run around anxious to find the book that’ll help them keep their jobs. Most editors these days are speculators. They’re no longer asked to acquire the books that readers will read a hundred years from now—books that not only preserve the culture but further it. They’re expected to acquire the books that readers will want to read today, and so instead of reading manuscripts, they read the current cultural landscape. They assess the mass market to figure out which manuscript might be the next bestseller. Literary editors at commercial publishers, the few who still acquire novels, have become investors. Keynes writes that investing is, “so to speak, a game of Snap, of Old Maid, of Musical Chairs—a pastime in which he is victor who says Snap neither too soon nor too late, who passes the Old Maid to his neighbour before the game is over, who secures a chair for himself when the music stops.” But Keynes made another, more lasting, comparison, what has come to be known as the Keynesian beauty contest.

Keynes thought investing was like newspaper competitions in which “the competitors have to pick out the six prettiest faces from a hundred photographs, the prize being awarded to the competitor whose choice most nearly corresponds to the average preferences of the competitors as a whole; so that each competitor has to pick, not those faces which he himself finds prettiest, but those which he thinks likeliest to catch the fancy of the other competitors, all of whom are looking at the problem from the same point of view.” In order to win, competitors are forced to select the outcome most selected by others, whatever their personal preference. “It is not a case of choosing those which, to the best of one’s judgment, are really the prettiest, nor even those which average opinion genuinely thinks the prettiest. We have reached the third degree, where we devote our intelligences to anticipating what average opinion expects the average opinion to be.” If there’s anything that’s killing American fiction, it’s not MFA degrees and the institutions that bestow them. It is this: the third degree.

”

- Very interesting article on publishing from Guernica. (via RNash) (via thefeeling)

atencio: Finding out Pierce Brosnan’s wife is a sexy BBW just...

Sat, 17 Apr 2010 18:44:02 -0700

atencio:

Finding out Pierce Brosnan’s wife is a sexy BBW just made day. This only further proves my theory that Pierce Brosnan is essentially an awesome black man who accidentally became white and irish, probably in some kind of unfortunate lab accident.

I was indifferent to Pierce Brosnan until about five years ago, when I had a dream that he and I were a detective team à la Remington Steele. We were also lovers. I woke up with a newfound Pierce Brosnan appreciation that I have retained to this day.

So this shit is vindicating as a motherfuck. Yeah, Pierce. You go, boy.

How can I even answer this question without first knowing what...

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 19:27:51 -0700

How can I even answer this question without first knowing what React Gump is?

Mod Cloth customers appreciate a good rom-com pun.

Thu, 08 Apr 2010 01:02:16 -0700

Mod Cloth customers appreciate a good rom-com pun.

Stop it, Gary Cooper. STOP IT. I can’t run away with you,...

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 00:42:00 -0700

Stop it, Gary Cooper. STOP IT. I can’t run away with you, because you’re dead, so stop it.

Is it just me, or is the Burger King way out of his jurisdiction...

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 00:29:25 -0700

Is it just me, or is the Burger King way out of his jurisdiction here?

Mom's Morbidity Returns

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 00:08:00 -0700

Mom and I are watching ‘Ball of Fire,’ a screwball comedy from 1941.

Mom: Do I even have to say it?

Me: All these people are dead now?

Mom: Yep.

This is happening.

Sat, 03 Apr 2010 16:16:46 -0700

This is happening.

Discourse with Mom

Thu, 01 Apr 2010 22:11:00 -0700

Mom: They're comparing American Idol to Clash of the Titans.
Me: More like Clash of the . . . (thinking) . . . (thinking) . . . (thinking) . . . KITTENS!
Mom: That's not funny. Don't put that on your Facebook.
Me: I'm putting it on my Facebook!
Mom: Don't put it on your Facebook!
Me: I'M PUTTING IT ON MY FACEBOOK! YOU CAN'T STOP ME!
Mom: No!
Me: Also, it's not Facebook.
Mom: Whatever.

"The Sixties, I suppose, were a different time. Hunting black people for sport had just been..."

Thu, 01 Apr 2010 22:04:00 -0700

“The Sixties, I suppose, were a different time. Hunting black people for sport had just been outlawed, women were finally guaranteed adequate grazing lands and Congress had officially declared war on trees. And science, having successfully burdened the heart and mind of every child with the knowledge of impending thermonuclear apocalypse, contentedly turned its attention to frogs and stuff. Their findings? Hawks may not be as evil as we thought.”

- My pal Matt Louv has begun a blog about the 1964 Audubon Nature Encyclopedia. It is already excellent and worthy of your attention.

"Factual errors: Any time Data plays the part of Sherlock Holmes he’s shown as wearing a..."

Thu, 01 Apr 2010 14:34:06 -0700

“Factual errors: Any time Data plays the part of Sherlock Holmes he’s shown as wearing a deerstalker cap and smoking a goose necked pipe. Holmes only wore a soft cloth cap (drawn as a deerstalker though never said to be one by Holmes creator Arthur Conan Doyle) when in the country, not in the city. Also Holmes never once smoked a goose necked pipe. That was an alteration made by an actor who found that it was the only pipe he could hold between his teeth and still be able to say his lines clearly. Finally, Sherlock Holmes never once spoke the words ‘It’s elementary, my dear Watson.’ That was something else added in a script but never once written by Doyle. An android would get these details right.”

- These are the things Star Trek fans get angry about, and I love them for it.

Sometimes dreams are confusing and meaningless, like my Lisa Simpson/goat killing dream. Then other...

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 12:19:28 -0700

Sometimes dreams are confusing and meaningless, like my Lisa Simpson/goat killing dream.

Then other times you’ve gone off your PMDD-controlling birth control (because you found yourself wondering if that was a real thing, and doing so seems to have answered that question with a resounding YES, IT IS A REAL THING) and you’ve had a particularly difficult evening of controlling your upsetting anxiety-induced OCD problem and you go to bed and have a comically literal dream in which you get yelled at BY YOURSELF, DRESSED AS A DOCTOR for going off your birth control.

abedinthemorning: jonahray: RIGHT?! (via My best buddy Donald...

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 22:56:00 -0700

abedinthemorning:

jonahray:

RIGHT?!

(via My best buddy Donald via asilentflute)

Wow

Lady version: a C-cup and an IQ 20 points lower than whoever put you in the Friend Zone.

Hey-O!

Or: Mario’s driving that car to a dumb Princess with an ample rack who doesn’t know how to make him laugh and hates his friends. Off screen there’s a girl who liked him before the ugly car and bank roll that turned him into a douchebag.

Hey-O?

Roadside Sex

Sun, 28 Mar 2010 22:03:00 -0700

Mom likes giving me shit about my one IMDB credit being a short called Roadside Sex, in which I’m giving a trucker a blow job.

So I rented a movie called Trucker and we’re watching it now. This is the conversation that took place through the opening credits:

Mom: You sure this isn’t the movie you’re in?

Me: Actually, yes. That’s me, giving a blow job off to the side.

Mom: Looks a lot like it.

Me: You mean because it’s dark and everyone’s indistinguishable?

Mom: And ‘cause there’s trucks.

Me: Yes. All movies with trucks are just one movie.

Mom: Maybe this is just what was happening in another scene.

Me: Yeah. They’re about to say, “Meanwhile, in another truck, Lindsay Katai is giving a fake blow job to a dude from her improv class, who didn’t fully explain what this short was all about.”

"Because if smart women who know how smart they are intimidate men (and they do), and beautiful women..."

Sat, 27 Mar 2010 18:38:24 -0700

“Because if smart women who know how smart they are intimidate men (and they do), and beautiful women who know how beautiful they are intimidate men (and they do), there is, logically, nothing more intimidating than a woman who is fully aware that she is both smart and beautiful. I mean, maybe a room full of tigers with machine guns! That could be scarier! Or, a smart and beautiful lady who makes jokes.”

- Tiger Beatdown, dropping some insight